DON’T KICK ME

Irving’s reading a magazine on a couch when his three-year-old grandson, Dylan, walks up to him and kicks him in the leg. 

Irving looks at him… says calmly, “Dylan, please don’t kick me.” 

Dylan walks back up to him… kicks him again. 
 

Irving stands up, walks up to Dylan, and takes his nose… tells him, “I have your nose” and shows him his thumb between his index and middle fingers. 

Dylan screams, “GIVE ME MY NOSE!” while Irving holds his hand high up in the air.

 
Dylan’s mother, Audrey, hears the commotion… “Dad, just give him his nose.”  

Irving says, ‘NO… HE KICKED ME” and runs out of the house, down the street. 

Irving gets a face time request. It’s Audrey She looks angry... “Dad, what are you doing? This isn’t funny.” 

Irving says, “fine. Let me talk to Dylan.” 

Dylan appears on the screen. His eyes puffy from crying.

Irving holds up his hand, “here’s your nose”… walks over to a dog and feeds the dog the nose. 

Dylan goes hysterical. Audrey yells, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?” Irving hangs up on them. 

Irving finally comes home… holds up a bag in front of Dylan… sticks his hand inside of it, “here’s your nose”… and screws Dylan’s nose back on his face with dog poop.