STEPHANIE’S BOYFRIEND

Karen makes plans for her and her husband, Craig, to have dinner with her friend Stephanie and her new Oxford educated, professor boyfriend, Theodore.

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Karen tells Craig what he’s allowed to say and what he’s not allowed to say… and in the allowed to say category, she tells him how to say it. Then, during the week, she repeats the list several times, adding new things each time.

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Craig’s losing it. He doesn’t even want to go. He’d rather have a colonoscopy but that’s not an option. He has to go. 

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The big night arrives.

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During the drive to the restaurant, Karen’s lips don’t stop moving. Luckily, Craig makes it to the restaurant without harming himself.

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He meets Stephanie and Professor Theodore. He goes a half hour without Karen kicking him under the table… but he needs a break... so, he excuses himself… goes to the bathroom and takes a diarrhea.

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He finishes tucking in his shirt and walks back to the table. 

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After a few minutes, Karen sniffs the air… “what’s that smell?” Stephanie also smells it… “EWWWW.” Theodore calls over the waiter.

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Craig stands up… “OH MY GOD… I forgot to wipe.”