TIME FOR SCHOOL

Melvin’s mother hollers from downstairs, “Melvin… it’s time to get up and get ready for school.”

For Melvin, school’s the last thing he wants to do today. 

He gets out of bed, walks over to a wall, and sticks a finger into an electrical outlet… BZZZZTTZTZTTT. His body jerks backwards… the tip of his finger’s burnt. He looks in a mirror… he’s got bloodshot eyes. 

He goes back to the wall… puts another finger into the electrical outlet… BZZZZTTZTZTTT. He falls backwards to the ground… it takes him a moment to catch his breath. 

He gets up and goes back to the mirror. He’s got two black eyes, his hair’s standing on end, and he’s drooling blood. 

He says to himself, “almost there.”

He goes back to the wall and sticks his big toe into the electrical outlet… BZZZZTTZTZTTT. He momentarily catches on fire. He looks like he just cleaned a chimney. There’s smoke coming out of his ears and he lost a tooth. 

Melvin goes downstairs. His mother takes one look at him and says, “nice try Melvin. Now, go get dressed and get in the car.”